Rundown Attitude

Wow. This whole week has been a little crazy and has me feeling rundown and exhausted. I hate that feeling. I try and put on a happy face for most things, and on the whole I like to think that I succeed. But being sick with an ear infection and trying to understand the wacky thinking of my bosses, puts me a little on edge. For one thing, I can only hear out of one ear, so everything is a little lopsided, including my balance. After running into three walls Thursday night and almost missing the bathroom Friday morning, I decided that maybe work could be put on hold while I visited my doctor and rested. When calling in sick to work, I usually get the guilt feeling before I even call. However, during the call, I usually sound fake because I am trying so hard not to sound fake at all. So I can pretty much count on the fact that most employers do not believe me when I call in sick. This of course makes employees, including me, question why they even work for the people they work for. Well, I work for my employers for basically one purpose only. To make money. I don't work at a place that will further my career, or help me to understand my school subjects and focus my goals. Which is kinda sad, but most people don't end up working for a place that they really want to. I think it is essential almost to despise at least a little the place you work. I mean, if we totally loved it, then what would we complain about? Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy some things at work, like my office roommate and the fact that I don't have to answer the phones anymore, but the work environment and sometimes my bosses really grate my nerves sometimes. And it isn't even work that they annoy me with. It is their crazy behavior about things that drives me crazy!! I mean some of the stupid things they make us do, as well as stupid lectures we receive makes me wonder how I can work for people I find stupid. I guess I am a hard person to impress and earn respect from, but that is only because I have had great people in my life to respect. I find myself comparing my current bosses and teachers to the great ones I have had in the past. And unfortunately for my present employers, they fall precariously short. I guess I need to focus more on coping and enduring, than pointing out the shortcomings of the people who are above me. Please bare with me while I shift my focus from work to school. I have finally found the degree that I can live with. I will be finishing up my associate degree finally this year or early next year. One of the reasons I was in such a rut, was I could honestly not focus on what I wanted from school. I knew I didn't want to be an editor. Even though I love reading and fixing mistakes, I cannot take something I love so much, and risk me becoming dissatisfied with it as a career. I am not willing to take that chance. So I take my second career choice, English Teacher, and pursue education classes. With an English and Reading emphasis. I think that I can be happy with what I will accomplish and I can also focus on helping students love reading as much as I do. I hope everyone is enjoying general conference, and I wish everyone a happy weekend!!!