The Value of Silence

Wow, can you believe it's been so long since I have posted anything on here? I'm actually not that surprised as nothing has really been going. And the stuff that has been going on, is mainly posted on that wonderful stalking website known as Facebook. I am fully aware that I am too obsessed with following peoples lives on there and not bothering to stay connected any other way, but I can still be creeped out by my stalkerish tendencies.

On that note, I'll just share a bit about living in Billings these past 9 months. It's been really hard to assimilate to another way of life. Mainly one where I live with my in-laws and am surrounded by them all for the first time in my marriage. In no way is that a bad thing; it is just different. Chris' parents are absolutely wonderful and have put up with a lot from us living here. Mainly: Aubry. She is both a blessing and a two year old terror rolled into one. I can't tell you how many walls she's written on, or messes she's made on their nice carpet. And finally, the potty training catastrophes. And through it all, they have been really awesome about it.

As I live in a completely different area with people I've never met, I've really come to learn more about myself. I think, mainly, I've come to realize that I am not really a social person anymore. Before Aubry, things were definitely different and I was way more willing to go out in public, meet new people and friends and let my life have that focus. But now....I have to say that I am becoming a real grump to regular people! And by far the worst of it is I can't seem to stand people making small talk at me!

How bad is that? When the lovely person behind the bank counter tries to engage in a conversation while she's getting me money, I'm completely silent and more than likely, impatient with her. It's actually very embarrassing when I finally realized what I was doing. It's probably why it has taken almost six months to get a calling in church, and why they have never asked us to speak:) Sort of a boon when I think about it.

I've thought about it a lot and as annoyed as I get when there is someone constantly filling the silence with some inane chattering, I think that I have a reason to be annoyed. Silence is not in any way evil or rude or any of those other things. I find that silence lets me focus my thoughts so that when I do finally speak, I am not filling the air with pointless words. I am actually contributing to a /conversation/. You can never unsay something, but you can say something with meaning if you give yourself half a chance.

I've been guilty of this many times in the past and I know that some of you will recognize this. I call it, The Narrator Syndrome. It's when you, or someone in your general area, has a constant running commentary on their every move.

"I'm gonna go grab that thing."

"In a minute, I'm going to do, such and such."

"I heard that song again on the radio and it's stuck in my head."

"And then I laughed, like, really hard." After laughing really hard....

And my eternal favorite, "I'm gonna run to the bathroom."

Now, sometimes these phrases serve a purpose. But more often than not, they are an unnecessary silence filler. I hate it when I find myself doing this, mainly because I can almost hear everyone else's thoughts in the room going, "Why is she telling us this?"

I am of the opinion that if someone really wants to know what you are doing at that exact moment, they will certainly ask you. And then you are free to fill the void with conversation. Don't forget that people are observant creatures. They are probably noticing what you are doing when you actually do it. Don't be afraid to do something without telling someone you are about to do it. It is an interesting experiment, and often times I find myself having much more meaningful conversations with someone when I am not trying to fill the silence with my constant yammering:)

I'm hoping to use this space to vent a little, rather than venting on Facebook. I swear, that site is home of the biggest whiners on the planet, using their social feed as a way to justify their annoyances and validate their lives. And yes, I am one of those guilty people and I fully realize that I am using this blog to serve that same purpose. However, this will not appear on my friends walls, and only those who wish to read it, will. And if no one does? I'm actually okay with that too:)

Part One

Okay, this is part one, set immediately after the Prologue. This is a short story, and if you are confused, then ask me any question. I had to splice it a bit, cause it was originally a fan fiction, so sorry if there are confusing parts. Let me know.

Part One

David's POV

Sighing, I slammed my chemistry book closed on my desk. "Done!" I said out loud, even though there was nobody around who could hear me, or that would even care. There hadn't been anyone in a long time around here. After spending nearly nine years in a group home for kids, I was back living on my own in that house that I'd lived in with my mother. It was a small brick building at the end of a street that I'd played on up until I was nine. The memories were sketchy at best, but they were slowly coming back to me the longer I stayed here.

One memory in particular had slammed me hard when I first moved back in. The memory of a tall man handing me a folded flag with my mom's medals and ribbons on top of it. It hadn't been a good day. I learned that while on patrol with her unit, they'd been caught in a mudslide. My mom, the unit's medic, had been killed along with three of the others. I glanced over to the pictures on the wall, and I was finally able to look at her picture without flinching.

She'd promised me that she'd come back. Well, that hadn't happened and I'd been swept into the system before I could pack my bags and deposited in a group home for orphaned or abandoned boys. I'd met my best friend, Robert, there. He was what we referred to as a 'Nobody'. Someone they had no clue or records on, but had been abandoned when he was eight. He'd been there a month or so when I showed up and we'd hit it off surprisingly well. I was nine at the time, and we'd bonded over a pack of gum and a smuggled comic. I sighed and wondered how he was doing.

I'd turned 18 the previous month, and been given my marching papers. I was free to go and live my own life apparently. College was paid for by the government, being a Veteran's legacy and what not. Plus, I now owned the house that I'd shared with my mother as a child and since the school was only a 5 minute walk away, I figured the smart thing to do would be to live there, go to school, and see where my life could take me from there.

My friend Robert, had left a month or so before I had. For someone as independent as himself, he'd settled down surprisingly quick. One of the older boys who'd been at the group home, had apparently come back for him and offered him a job, and a place to stay.

I stood up and stretched, popping the vertebrae in my back, and deciding I needed a walk to clear my head of the memories that this house was saturated in. Grabbing my jacket, I locked the door and turned to the quiet neighborhood street. It was all so vaguely familiar, and it sent shivers down my spine. How could I have forgotten so much about this place? I remembered old Mrs. Peters and how she would come over and watch me when my mom was deployed. I wonder if she was still around....

"Hey! Who are you?" I sharp voice snapped me out of my daydreams, and I came to a stop a few feet from my house in the middle of the sidewalk. A tall blonde haired guy was walking towards me. He looked familiar and extremely intimidating. I hid my immediate reaction to him however, and scowled at how he snapped at me. He didn't even know me.

"None of your business! I don't even know you." With those words, I saw his jaw clench and his eyes narrowed. Did I know him from somewhere?

"Do you live there? What happened to the previous owner?" He asked quietly, and more politely I might add. Sighing, and rolling my eyes, I could see that he was probably going to interrogate and harass me until I just answered his questions.

"I'm the previous owner. David Allen, and you're almost trespassing. So shove off." I tried to spin around and stomp off, but he had surged forward, eyes bright and caught my arm in his hand. Glaring down at the offending appendage, I tried pulling free. Dangit, his grip was like iron. I snapped my eyes up to his face, and was floored by the change in his appearance. His eyes were wide, and his face was shocked, like I'd hit him in the face with a brick.

"David? Crap, it is you." Before I knew it, I was pulled into a tight hug and was getting the stuffing squeezed out of me.

"Hey! Hey, what are you doing? Who are you?" I struggled, but in his tight grip, I didn't really have a chance. Finally, I just submitted and stayed still.

"Wow, you have such a crappy memory, Chickenwuss." The grip on me loosened and I jumped away from him, to stare at his face. Oh my gosh...

"Sam?" I whispered. He looked so different. Gone was the boy who had been my best friend before I moved. In his place, a totally different person. The scar on his face was new, and so was the scowl. But his voice, while older and deeper, it still sounded the same when calling me a chickenwuss.

"What are you doing here?" I asked quietly. I hadn't seen or spoken to him in almost nine years. The group home was on the other side of the city, and no one from my old neighborhood had ever made any contact with me. I'd been crushed when my best friend had seemed to have forgotten about me, but in the face of so many changes as a kid, you forget and move on. I had forgotten a lot of things apparently.

He scowled at my question. "I live here. That house across the street. Don't you remember anything?" Pointing at the light blue house, the paint had faded a little, he nodded when I showed some recognition. "Yeah, same house. I'm going to school at the university and I figured it would be easier to stay at home, than to fight for dorm space. I have to say that I'm surprised to see you here at all." He voice got quieter, and I wondered what he was thinking. He better not be one of those people who figured that I was sensitive and overly prone to crying, just because I'd lost my mom when I was a kid.

I snorted. "Why are you surprised? I mean, I am the owner and what not. That means I can live there if I want." I admit, I wasn't really being all that friendly. And I didn't really understand why. Maybe it was because, of all the people from before, I had missed him the most. And I wasn't all that sure that he had missed me...which hurt and made me a little defensive.

His eyes widened at my tone. But he didn't say anything about it. "I figured you weren't ever going to come back." Sam looked away, and I tried to imagine what kinds of things he had been up to since I'd moved. "I thought...." He paused and ran a hand over his face.

"When I saw you walking out of the house, I didn't recognize you...I thought that you'd finally sold the house and weren't coming back..." He trailed off again and shuffled his feet, looking away.

He was acting weird. It was freaking me out a little. "Um, no. I didn't sell it. I am going to the university as well and this house is pretty close to it. So, why the heck not?" I forced a chuckle out and shrugged my shoulders. This was becoming too awkward. Time to go.

"Well, it was nice running into you, um, see you around?" I ignored the hurt look on his face and turned on my heel to head back inside. I fumbled with the keys a little, feeling Sam's eyes on my back as I fought to open my front door. "Crap." I snapped as I dropped my keys again. I didn't hear him climb the porch behind me, but I jumped when I felt his hands grab the keys from me and open the door. Ignoring him, I pushed open the front door and went inside. He followed me and I couldn't make myself get upset at him. It was obvious he still wanted to talk.

Sighing, I turned to face him, watching as his eyes swept the room, and he walked over to the wall to look at the pictures hanging there. "This place is just like I remember it..." He whispered, leaning forward to look at the portrait of my mother in uniform, taken a month before her death. "I remember your mom. I thought she was the coolest adult I knew. Do you remember how we used to dress up in her old uniforms and play like we were soldiers?" I closed my eyes, remembering. The camouflage. To this day I still loved wearing it.

Glancing down, I looked at my camo print converse, and I realized that I always managed to wear at least one camo printed item in my outfit every day. I knew why I wore it everyday. It was the small little bit of my mom that I carried around with me. The shrink that the group home sent me to, had tried helping me come to terms with everything, talk about my feelings and all manner of bullcrap. I didn't want to 'fix' my need to wear camo. I wore it because I wanted to. There wasn't some hidden meaning, or secret imbalance in my head. I just liked it; it reminded me of my mother, who was gone, and there wasn't anything wrong with that.

"Yeah." I grimaced. My voice was way too weak. Sam turned to look at me again, he eyes sweeping over my body, and I cringed.

"I'm sorry. I can not talk about it if you want." His voice was quiet and understanding. I didn't really want that. I remembered Sam being tough; I'd looked up to him.

"No. It's fine." I sighed. It seems like I had a house guest for the next little bit. I went to the couch and moved my textbooks. I was done with my homework, except for sociology, which I could do later. That book was annoying and heavy. I slammed it closed and shoved it onto the coffee table.

"Hey, I have that book. What class are you taking?" Sam asked as he slumped on one end of the sofa, while I sat on the other end.

"Umm, Sociology 103, Environment and Development. Section 3." It was a pretty interesting subject, however, there was always that one idiot jock and his cronies in every class and he'd already made a fool out of himself. Of course, he thought he was hilarious...

"Hey! I'm taking that class too...Section 2. I must have it right before you...what else are you taking?" Sam sounded interested, and I felt a small glimmer of camaraderie in the other teen.

"Well, I'm taking Chemistry, which sucks, English 101, and History 102. What about you?" I tried not to stare at him when he stretched and settled back into the couch.

"I'm taking an English tutoring course, where I tutor clueless freshman, you're welcome to come by." I scowled at him, as he laughed, "And I've got a math course and Criminal Justice 102." The conversation ground to a halt as his phone rang.

"Hello?" He scowled at the number.

"No, I don't want to." Sam rolled his eyes at whoever was on the other line, then reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

"Listen, stop calling me. I don't want to, and I never will." He slammed his phone closed and slumped back onto the sofa, breathing out in exasperation and annoyance. I wanted to ask, but I couldn't. It was none of my business, and if he wanted to talk about it, I was right here. Lowering my eyes, I faced forward. What the heck was I doing? I didn't want him here, making me remember him, how much I'd missed him, how angry I'd been at him forgetting about me. And it turned out that he hadn't forgotten about me, but he hadn't exactly tried to make contact before now.

"Hey, sorry about that. It was this girl that keeps throwing herself at me. And she just wouldn't take the hint. I'm not normally that much of an jerk." His voice was apologetic and I smiled a little.

"So, normally, your a jerk, just not that big of one?" I grinned and looked up and he was scowling playfully at me.

"Watch it, lamer. I can still whup your butt at everything." And with that our friendship seemed to pick back up, ignoring the years we'd been a part.

Review if you have a mind too......also, if you would just like the whole story emailed to you, let me know. It's done:D

Short Prologue

Read and tell me what you think.....

It happened on a quiet afternoon with the sun shining brightly. Kids were out playing in the street, enjoying the cool weather before the summer. Unfortunately, their play was interrupted by the army regulation jeep that came to a stop in front of the small brick house at the end of the road. The kids stopped and watched as a stern looking man stepped from the vehicle. Parents who had been watching their kids, turned to meet the eyes of the neighboring adults with worry. A small sandy haired boy lived in that house. A rambunctious young boy, full of mischief and fun. He was all alone in that house, save for an elderly neighbor woman who was staying with him while his mother was away.

The stern looking man shuffled in his car before removing an item that had the whole street gasping in shock. A blonde haired boy less small than the one whose house the stern looking man was stopping in front of, watched this event with sharp blue eyes. He knew the sandy haired boy. He played with him. He understood that when that stern looking man delivered that item, he wouldn't see his best friend again. For the first time in his short young life, he felt hate. He hated the stern looking man, and his regulation jeep. Hated that he stopped in front of the small brick house at the end of the road. Hated that he knocked on the door and saluted his small sandy haired best friend.

But most of all, the less small blonde haired boy hated that the stern looking man delivered a folded up flag, with medals and ribbons laying on top of it, to the small sandy haired boy who lived in the small brick house at the end of the road.

I'm being brave here people.....I don't like it when people I know read my stuff. This is just a short prologue to a short story I am doing called, My Mom Wears Combat Boots.

My Poor Neglected Blog

*pat pat* Poor thing. Sitting here all defenseless and lonely. I'm sorry Blog. I'll be better some day, I promise.

I know!! I'll share some fun stories and some fun pictures with you so you don't get lonely sitting here on the internet all day. First off, I have to tell you about my new friend Nas. Nas lives in France. Yup, alllll the way over the Atlantic Ocean. It's a long ways away. She's an artist and an author who I've seen lurking on the same websites as me. So one day, I read a story and I commented on it. It was really good!! So anyways, I send off this review, and next thing I know, I get a reply! So, I thinks to myself, perhaps she would like some more feedback. So I sent another reply and next thing I know, I've been emailing her for a week and each email is getting longer and longer. So long, in fact, that the simple Private messaging thingy, isn't working. Thinking that perhaps, I should just give her my real email account, she asked to read something of mine! Imagine my surprise! So, I tried emailing it to her. That didn't go so well. For some reason it didn't work. After much yelling at my computer and cursing my email, we finally managed to both log into MSN Messenger at the same time, and added each other.

Which was so awesome!! Cause then I got to talk to her in real time! And we learned that France and Nevada are 9 hours apart. So it was very interesting to learn that when it's 3 o'clock in the afternoon here, it's midnight there. We've learned to adjust:D

That's not the most exciting part, in my opinion. Well, like I said, Nas had written a story that I commented on. And because of my comment, she decided to write another story, which was really awesome too. And we got to talking about it, and one thing led to another, and she asked if I wanted to write something with her. *spaz dance* And thus was born a collaboration which is sucking up most of my time at the moment. No, it won't be published any time soon, as it's a fan fiction*, but it sure is fun to write with another person. Another cool thing, is that Nas is writing an original story and she is running her ideas past me and I am giving her input. I remember having those kinds of conversations with my aunt when she was writing her book, and it was so amazing. I really enjoyed talked to an author and giving feedback. It makes me feel like I am helping a bit for a good story I guess.

So these next couple of weeks will be spent working and writing some stories. I don't see myself ever writing my own book or anything, however, perhaps I will write short stories as a way to pass the time and exercise my brain during long boring days. Not that Aubry lets me have long boring days, but still, when she is ignoring me, I get bored.

Here are the most recent shots of Aubry. I usually wear a beanie in the mornings because it is pretty cold here in my house, and she grabbed it off of my head and proceeded to put it on her head, and dance around. Enjoy these silly little Aubry shots.

I had another really good one, but it was tilted sideways, and I couldn't figure it out, so I will work on it. Later.

Holy Crap!

Holy Crap!! Amber's posting something!! Yeah for the New Year!! I've decided that I can do better than last year. It's been rough, but we've pulled through. Money troubles are better, we're smarter, and Aubry is bigger. So far in 2011, I've got a few new piano students, we are still taking guitar lessons and we're still trying to expand the family a bit.

First off, I have been working on my writing skills these past couple of months. Not for any particular reason, but because it challenges me and helps me fill long hours stuck at home. I am proud to say that my piano lessons are still going strong. I have a few wonderful kids and I'm really proud of the work they have accomplished. I was hoping to get back in school this semester, but money was super tight this past year, and I've put it off again. I will finish my education at some point, but not just yet it seems.

Chris has been doing great with commuting to Vegas for work. I feel really bad he has too, but rent is cheap here. The great thing is, he doesn't have to work on Sundays so we are able to go to church together.

Aubry is still a little stinker. She is having a hard time learning to talk. Or she is just stubborn. She understands so much, but she never wants to mimic me when I speak to her. However, sometimes we will hear her jabber a lot and use 'no'. So it's not totally hopeless:)

That's about it from last year. Hopefully this year will prove to be a little more fruitful. Have a Happy New Year!!

So addicted.....

To so many things. Lately, it's been fan fiction and my Zune. I know, I'm a freak=) But I have always been one to enjoy a good read, and when it involves characters that I have grown to love, I will read just about anything. And since I don't want Aubry just watching movies all day when it's too cold to go outside, or we are just stuck at home, I play my music for her. She seems to really like New Found Glory (who doesn't?), Coheed and Cambria, and Bowling for Soup. Or maybe it's just cause that's what I like to listen to??

That's all we have been up to lately. Although, Krysta came down for a visit, and somehow I didn't take one darn picture!! I even have an awesome video camera and nothing!! In case you were wondering why I seem to be jumping around on topics, it's cause it is late and I feel an overwhelming need to post something on my blog.

I think, though, that I will have a Halloween post. Remind me to take pictures, cause Aubry will be Red Riding Hood, I will be (hopefully!) Reno from Final Fantasy 7 and I think Chris will be something with a brown cloak, perhaps a Jedi or something. So cross your fingers that we don't look like freaks!!

P.S. I really am gonna try and update more. I'm tired of being a lamer.......

The Piano

So we are renting this house from a nice couple who left us some awesome things that they couldn't take with them. They left us the washer and dryer (awesome) and their very old piano. I was really excited about the piano specifically because one of my callings is to play in Sacrament meeting and for the Spanish Branch. And lets face it, I ain't that great to begin with and need all the practice that I can get. So I had the tuner guy come out and give it a once over. He repaired the broken pedal and tuned the heck out it. For which I was really grateful. It's bad enough making my own mistakes, but if I can't tell what is my mistake and what is the horrible sound coming from the instrument, there are problems.

I enjoyed the piano for a couple of weeks, and then I had an epiphany. A source of INCOME!!! It sits so silently in my living room, taking up so little space, and providing entertainment to my and Aubry so why not others!!

So I advertise. I ask around, I beg. I got some wonderful students. Very dedicated. I am actually learning while I am teaching as well. Trying to figure out the best ways to teach kids, when I remember being the most obnoxious student. So bad in fact, I had more teachers then all my sisters combined. So, I try and remember what it was about the teachers that I actually liked.

It's a process, but I think I have hit my stride=) I still have some openings, and I have to say, that all ages can learn. Adults may think it's too late to learn, but they are SO WRONG!! I have a few adult students and they learn no faster or slower than my young students. You just have to PRACTICE!!

So I just wanted to brag about my awesome piano and advertise for some more students to share it with. And, also, share this cute picture of Aubry. She insists on playing a little every day!!!

Can't think of anything

I seriously can't think of anything to post about. Nothing important seems to be happening in mylife lately. We are just working and trying not to over heat this summer. Aubry is 15 months old this Saturday. I can't believe she is so big. While I am sad to see her get older, (thus reminding me I am getting older too), I am also excited to see her starting to get the hang of talking.

I will be excited when school starts. I know I am not in school, but hopefully my piano lessons will pick up=) So many of my students do vacations over the summer that I miss seeing them=)

Well, that is about it for us. Although we did empty our storage unit the other week. I now have all of my books at hand!!! Hooray!!

Musical

Seeing as it has been almost a month since I last posted, I will try and condense weeks into sentences. For our anniversary, we both bought guitars. We got Chris a traditional Fender Acoustic, while I got a Black Fender Acoustic guitar. We performed with some other people at out ward Pioneer day party and that was pretty fun. I also got my hands on my mom's old accordion and am teaching myself whatever I can. Aubry is really liking the whole music thing. I have been watching all the musicals that we own with her, and she loves them. Her preferred play thing is the piano and she whines until I put her on the bench and let her pound on it. I am hoping that I can instill a love of music in all the kids that we have. It has taken a few years for me to admit my love of music. I hope that I don't let my kids waste any time in loving it as well.

Things are going well with my piano teaching. The summers are hectic, but school starts soon and I am hoping to land a few more students for the school year. I am thinking about taking some courses online to improve my musical theory and teaching skills. Chris is still working for TSA in Vegas, but we are hoping that he can transfer to the new airport in St. George next year. I am hoping that we can save for a house in the coming years, but I realized that it is okay if we rent. I thought that owning a house was the next big step, and that is what I have been focused on for awhile. I realized though, that having a house doesn't necessarily create stability. I have seen many close friends and family lose their houses in this crappy economy and I don't want to rush into anything and regret it later.

We are, however, not putting a family on hold. I don't want to wait until I am "ready" for more kids or a family. I want that to be my main focus for the next little while. It doesn't matter if we rent or own a house, we can still have a family wherever we are.

I have to say though, I hope we can stay in Moapa for a long while. Even though it is super hot here right now, I love being here with the people I grew up with. I love my callings in church and I don't want to have to start over in a new ward with people I don't know. I don't make friends too easily, and right now, I need the close friends that I have got.

I also want to publicly apologize to Chris for blowing my top yesterday. I don't often lose it like that, and it seems that even if he had nothing to do with it, he is usually on the receiving end of my tantrums. I don't think I could live without him and I am looking forward to spending some quality time with him on our vacation next month=)

5 Years

So we hit our 5 year anniversary mark this week. July 1, 2005. We celebrated by going to the first movie we have gone to in over a year. We went into Vegas and saw the Prince of Persia. It was so good!! We had played the game and I couldn't believe how awesome the movie was. Then we went to the guitar store and the mall for a an hour or so. The wonderful Udall family watched Aubry for the afternoon and then Jenn and Amelia put her to bed. It was really hard to leave her alone for that long. I have never done that before. Apparently, she was great. Makes me want to have a movie night every week=)

Things are going pretty slow around here. These past two weeks of June and the beginning of July, have been really rotten all around. Cars catching fire, houses catching fire, and of horrible heat wave. We have been taking Aubry to the splash pad and she really loves it. We also set up a little pool on the cement behind our house and let her play in that for awhile.

My piano teaching is going well, and I am now currently giving spray tans for those interested. I am hoping that with a little extra money coming in, we can get a new car or at least one that just runs. It really sucks only having one car=) Well, that is the current update. Happy 4th of July everyone=)

And We're Back

Oh wow. Almost two months with no internet!!! How did I ever function? And so much important stuff has happened, first birthdays, new business, dead cars.....how will I ever get you guys all caught up?? I will try my hardest. First, some info. Aubry is 1!! Can you believe it??? I can't!!! I mean when did my little girl grow into a toddler?? Well her stats are as follows...

17 lbs 5 ounces

She can walk.

She can find my nose.

She loves the water.

She loves her chair (will post pictures)

She loves her grandma's.

She loves chicken nuggets.

and she is finally sleeping through the night. mostly...

And I will try and post some pictures.

The next item of business, is to tell you about a new business. Air Bronze. A new mobile air brush tanning business owned by yours truly and her best friend Kelly. We have all of our equipment at this time, so we can finally begin to make some money!! I am also teaching piano again and loving it!! So here come the pictures!!!

Hanging out a cool pool in St. George with Kelly.

Her new birthday chair.

Not a very messy birthday cake.

New baby doll.

The Moapa Splash pad.

Moving!!

Dear Aubry,

Oh what an interesting month it has been. Amelia has come home from college, Jenn has come home from her mission, and that means this house is super crowded with people who are not used to sharing their space. Not really complaining per say, but we wished we had our own space. And now we will!! We will be renting a small house from a wonderful couple in Moapa. The house is pretty old with some repair projects that need done, but we need to move out from Grandma's house and that was available for what we can afford.

You will be one years old in a couple of weeks!! Hard to believe that it has been almost a year since you were born. It's been up and down and in and out, but I think you are turning out great. You sure have a temper though, and are fighting the word now alot. You started sleeping through the night really well on the family vacation to San Diego last week, but you got a cold this week and kept me up way too long cause you couldn't breathe out of your nose=( Tonight is our last night here so hopefully we don't throw you off too much, but Aunt Jenn really wants her room back.

Grandma Godfrey will be visiting for your birthday!!! I know you are excited, especially since you haven't seen her in 10 months=( She is coming down for 10 days and we are so happy!! Your birthday will be at the park in Moapa, and hopefully we can play in the water fountain. You liked it last time we went, but got cold cause the wind. I tried and failed to get a real job this past month, so I am going into business with Kelly. We are doing air brush tanning, which is actually pretty good. It's safe and cheap and helps you look good, without harming you. Plus, I am teaching piano again, and that is going really well. I have some great students and I am looking forward to getting some more.

Your dad is hoping to transfer to the new airport in St. George next year, so cross your fingers little girl. You could be living next to your best friend Chayse someday!!! Hopefully, I will keep up on the blog more as soon as we get our new computer. Love you tons, my not so little girl!!!

Amber

Crazy Girl

Dear Aubry,

Wow. It has been a while since I have posted. Mainly, because my computer crapped out and so did your dads. But hopefully, I will have an income in the next couple of weeks so that I can justify getting a desktop to replace it! Things have been pretty crazy around here. Mainly, because you are walking!! I know right? You did your first big walk on March 13th, at Chayse's birthday party. It was so cool, but now that's all you want to do!! You are getting more and more confident and seem to have no fear at all. In fact, you also decided you were old enough to go up the stairs by yourself. Scared the crap out of me, but you were fine. You still haven't fallen down the stairs, so you aren't scared or anything, but a little fear would be nice. I have some video of you walking and I am so proud of you. You may be super small, but you make up for it by being mobile=)

We celebrated Easter with your cousin's and went to the egg hunt here in Moapa. You had lots of fun, and you got lot's of eggs, mainly because your dad was with you and made sure you had enough.

Things haven't really moved forward in the past month. We thought about buying a house here in Moapa, but apparently we can't afford anything. So we are going to rent a house for a little while and hopefully I can get a job and bring in that extra income. I applied for a couple of jobs and I have an interview, so cross your fingers. I am also thinking about going into business with Kelly, but we haven't made our final decision yet. I can give piano lessons, so if anyone needs them, adults included, I am willing to teach.

Aubry, you are such an awesome baby. Everyone loved seeing you at the fair. Complete strangers came up and wanted to see you. Which was a little odd, but fun. You were so patient with me at the fair, and such a good sport. We went on the merry-go-round with Kelly and Chayse and it was a blast!! Then we spent a couple days with Lara and your cousins just hanging around the house while Neil was working at his families booth. I love staying home with you and I hope that I only have to work part-time cause I know that I would miss you something crazy.

Cross your fingers, and lets hope that I can get a job somewhere or work from home, so that someday you can have your own house and room again.

So Lazy

Dear Aubry,

Wow. It has been a month and a half since your mom has posted on here. She must have a good reason, like no computer. Yes, a sad, sad tale it is. My laptop finally bit the dust. I will admit I have always been really hard on it, so it only last three and a half years. Sigh, now I am using Chris's tiny computer that is really hard to type on. Lame. Anyway, so much has been going on. We went in for your 9 month appt. with the dr (a week before you turned 10 months=) and you were 16 pounds, and 27 inches long. Wow. So big!! You gained 4 pounds in three months!! You are sill in the 5 percent for weight and the 10-25 for height. I hope that means you will be taller than your mom. Sadly, we are still living with grandma and grandpa. Your dad hasn't gotten accepted anywhere for a transfer so we are still homeless. You don't mind though. You love it here with all the animals and all the space. Your parents like it here too, but we need to be gone so when your aunt Jenn comes home in six weeks, she has a place to live.

That's right. We are still in Moapa, which is good and bad. I love it here and I love and have missed the people here. We have been welcomed back home with open arms and I just hate the idea of moving away again. But I just don't think that Chris will be able to support us out here with his current job, and I would dearly love to get out of the heat. Ideally, we would move to St. George or Hurricane so it would be cooler, but still close. However, our third choice, behind Boise (which rejected us) and Salt Lake (also rejected) is Provo. Yeah, the home of the cougars (gag). I don't mind the thought of living there, cause Krysta and zac live there. But, sigh, I wish we could just settle down somewhere with a good job and get it done.

Thanks for all the help and support from everyone, and pray that we can find something in Provo or St. George area. I would love to buy a house soon.
PS no pics cause they were on the laptop. No worries I backed them up, but too lazy to put them on this laptop.

Dear Aubry,

Dear Aubry,

Well, so far this new year has been really good to you. You are putting on weight and eating so good lately. I am no longer worried about starving you. January was spent refining all of your growing abilities. Crawling super fast, eating super fast, drinking super fast, and standing up and walking on the furniture, not so fast. We worked really hard together to make videos for your grandparents and your Aunt Jenn on her mission. We went on long walks with your dad, and played in puddles. Me and your Dad have been called to teach in the primary. So that means that you have been spending time with Grandma and Grandpa Cox in Relief Society and Sunday School. That seems to work out really well, because mom and dad have our hands full with 6 year olds.

You love spending time outside and sometimes that is the only thing that makes you stop crying. No more teeth so far, but I have high hopes for some top ones in the next month or too. Two weeks ago, we went and played at Chayse's house. You and her had so much fun standing up together and even having and eating contest!! It seems that Chayse didn't want you to win and ate two whole bottles of baby food!! It was a lot of fun, and I think we are going there again this month.

You are so proud of your dad for putting in another transfer to Salt Lake City. You hope that we get to move there soon. You also helped him apply for two other jobs online and we hope to hear from someone soon. Before you know it, we will be packing up and moving to a new home, but we don't know where yet!=)

You have so much to be proud of this month. You are a great napper and you can almost sleep through the night. I don't mind getting up and feeding you, but soon you will be able to handle the whole night without me or your daddy. We are also going to be working on getting you to say "Mama" before you say, "Dada". But I think you might even say "Kitty" first!!

Well, think next month is going to be full of surprises, so here we come!!

Love,

Mom

This is a video from before Christmas that I had promised Kelly I would post. So here it is.

Dear Aubry,

Aubry has the crawling down!!!

Official Christmas photo!!!!

Standing all the time now. And posing.......

Dear Aubry,

It's a New Year already and things are going so well. You are crawling around so fast and are pulling yourself to standing all the time now. Sadly, you had to stop breastfeeding because apparently my milk was starving you. You like formula pretty well and are already putting on weight. I was super scared when we went to the doctor and found out that you hadn't gained even a pound in three months. Needless to say, as your mother I felt like a complete failure. Not to mention, you managed to lock yourself in the car when we went and visited Kelly and Sam. I was letting you play with my keys and when I closed the back door and went to the front door, you locked the car. I know, right? What 7 month old can do that?? Well, you can dear daughter. After the fire engine and police car left, you were safe and sound in my arms and we even took a picture with your rescuers.

Your first Christmas was pretty good. You managed to score all sorts of loot, including clothes toys and a ton of books (from me=). You also rang in the New Year with your dad and me, and your Aunt Amelia. Something exciting also happened on New Year Eve's day. You got into the cat food for the second time, and convinced your parents that you needed your own room and bed. Things are going well in that department but you haven't slept through the night yet. I am hopeful for the coming month though. Your dad is putting in his application to the Air Traffic Control job soon and he is also putting in his transfer to Salt Lake City. Keep your fingers crossed. Well, I love you tons little girl and we will see how much you weigh this month and hopefully you will be back on track. You sure seem to have grown already now that you are on formula.

Love,

Mom and Dad

Dear Aubry,

Me and Aubry again.

I found this picture and laughed.

Dear little girl,

Today was hard. You woke up at about 6 am and I knew your were still tired because you woke up crying. After trying to calm you down, I gave you your pacifier and rolled over. For the next hour you cried and crawled and rolled around. Finally, you fell asleep. Please note, that while you were crying for whatever reason, I too was crying. I was sad that you were upset and that it was 6 am in the morning and I was now too awake to sleep anymore. You slept for the next 45 minutes and woke up smiling, so lesson learned. After a breakfast of Apples and Cherries, which went down better than that last fruit you ate, we played with the remotes and enjoyed a visit from my visiting teachers. As 10am rolled around, you informed me of your desire to take a nap. Very forcefully. I fed you some milk and you went to sleep for the next 2 and 1/2 hours. During which, you permitted me to watch a movie. (thanks btw)

Upon waking, you calming let me know your were hungry and whereupon you dined on harvest veggies with mixed grains. We than visited the post office and the bank, while talking to your Aunt Krysta.

You gracefully received your dad's new computer from the Fed Ex guy, and hid it away where none can find it. As you now play around my feet, I wonder what other surprises you have for me today. If you would crawl, that would be great. But I just wanted to let you know how your day was going. I love you tons little girl and I do enjoy the times we have. I especially enjoy watching you inch worm your way around the floor.

We are off to clean the bedroom, so look out world, I might just clean my room!!!

Sincerely,

Your tired mother.

Lazy.....

Yes, I am so lazy. I haven't blogged in forever. And I have done Aubry's 6 month pictures. I am a bad parent=) Well, Aubry is 6 months old now. She is so close to crawling still. I think I mentioned that Chris let me get a video camera for my birthday. Well, it came in the mail yesterday and he wouldn't let me open it!!! How mean right! Other than that, things are going good. Chris will be putting in his transfer to Salt Lake this month, and we will see how that goes. This is just a short post cause nothing is really going on this week. Although, I have noticed, that my mom is making me make cookies like every week. Anyways, here is the video I took of Aubry. Enjoy.

Blog Stalker....

So I admit it. I am a stalker. A blog stalker. I randomly read peoples blogs and they have no idea. I kinda feel bad about it, especially because I am sure they would feel weird about me reading it, but sometimes, that's all there is to do around here. And then you feel even weirder seeing them and saying, "Yeah, I know all about what is going on in your family even though we haven't spoken in 6 years. I read your blog!"

Well, it's the day before Thanksgiving and I really should be making pies right now, or cleaning my room, but I feel the urge to post something. Aubry is 6 months old. She is days away from crawling and is a great eater. She loves bananas and squash. She'll eat peas, but for some reason does not like peaches. Can't really blame her. Not a huge fan of peaches myself. I am not sure how much she weighs at this point. I haven't taken her into the doctors for her shots yet, but she is finally in size 2 diapers. Yea!!!

No word yet on what we are doing about Chris's job or our life or where we are moving. Just don't believe anything I say about it. Whenever I say we are going to move somewhere at a certain time, just don't believe it. I have said it a million times and we haven't even made it out of Nevada yet. So those of you who I talked to about moving to Boise, or Salt Lake or even out of the state, don't hold your breath. I wouldn't be surprised if we never moved. So just don't get your hopes up anymore=(

On a lighter note, Chris let me buy a video camera for my birthday so we can document Aubry's crawling when she finally does it. Oh and a quick endorsement for Best Buy. They price match now, and they even price match Amazon.com!! We saved 80 bucks!!!

Trying on Chris's TSA beanie. Way too big.

in the crawl position. She rocks and moves her legs now.

One of the few pictures I have taken of us together.

Sometimes the days go by.....

Wow. It has been quite awhile since I have posted. So much has happened these past couple of weeks that I can't even begin to wrap my head around it. First off, moving to Boise has been put on hold. Things with Chris's work didn't come together in time and finding a job up there is alot different when you don't live up there. So we moved in with my parents. Things are going good here, my parents love the fact that Aubry is here and that I love to bake desserts=) Chris is commuting to Vegas four times a week and that is really tough on him. I feel like this is all my fault. That if I had planned better and prepared better, we would not by having all of these problems. If I could have been content in Vegas, or if we hadn't moved down here at all, we would be better off. Chris's school is on hold until we find a place with an ITT Tech that we can afford to live. I feel guilty about him missing out on school when he was doing so good.

Aubry is growing up so dang fast. She is six months old in a week, and it doesn't feel real. She eats baby food and sits up on her own. She is almost crawling. She gets up on all fours and rocks back and forth. Hasn't taken that first step yet, but it ain't far off. She has finally been able to fit into her 6 month clothes. She can still fit in her 3 month ones, but at least she isn't drowning in the 6 month ones. Naptime is alot better these days, and thank goodness for the baby monitor. I can't imagine not having one in this huge house and having to stay near her room in order to hear her.

Oh and she has one tooth that has broken the surface and is getting the second one soon. Amazing. I think it's pretty darn cool. It helps me to know that even though she is tiny for her age she is still developing at a good rate. We went and hung out with Kelly this past Friday and had a really good time shopping. I got everything I am going to get for Aubry for Christmas this year. A bunch of books, and clothes. I am pretty sure she will be getting toys from everyone else=) Hopefully, not noisy ones. She is at the stage where she is screaming for no reason, just to hear herself=) It's cute, but we don't need anymore added noise.

I am grateful to everyone who has helped us out these days, especially my parents who are giving us a place to live. Things are hard but we will get through them. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and remember to be thankful for the bad and good times=)